Editors’ note: It seems the universal sentiment leading up to this first presidential debate can be summarized in one word: dread. “No matter how it plays out, I expect a horror show,” one Cog newsletter subscriber told us. “Like many Americans I am tired of all this. Our campaigning functionally starts a few minutes after the swearing-in ceremony; in other words it’s continuous. It shouldn’t be that way but I have no idea how to change it,” she continued.
Read MoreEarlier this week, a secret recording of Martha-Ann Alito, the wife of Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito, was released in which she says, “I want a Sacred Heart of Jesus flag because I have to look across the lagoon at the Pride flag for the next month.” According to the New York Times, Mrs. Alito wanted to fly the flag as a “retort” to a Pride flag flown by a neighbor. In the secretly recorded conversation, Mrs. Alito goes on to threaten, “You come after me, I’m going to give it back to you.”
Read MoreWhat does it mean for the country if former President Donald Trump is convicted of a crime and sentenced to prison time? That’s the question that’ll be on the minds of political pundits, historians and legal experts when Trump appears in a Washington, D.C. federal court today.
Read MoreHow devolving into people-pleasing can hold back your career
How nice should you be at work?
We’ve supposedly moved on from the era of the militaristic chief executive who barks orders and threats. Most of us agree: We don’t like jerks. Be kind, we implore our kids.
Read MoreCome to my meeting. Plan my bachelorette party. Help with this project that’s totally not in your job description.
Please?
We’ve all been there, trying to persuade people to do things they don’t have to do, and probably don’t want to either. Or, we’re staring down a painful request ourselves.
“Inside, you’re questioning, like, how did I get here?” says Matt Brattin, a software company executive based in Fresno, Calif.
Read MoreThere is no legal requirement for a political candidate to publicly concede an election. But concession speeches have long featured in American politics, with Republicans and Democrats alike pledging to unite behind and support the electee.
These speeches often acknowledge the loss and affirm the importance of protecting the democratic process above partisanship, while vowing to continue to fight within the system for the issues at stake in the election. By focusing on the shared values of democratic governance, concessions serve to bring the often bitterly fought partisan conflict of an election to a close.
Read MoreThe vote was 14 to 1 in favor, yet the motion failed. Why? Because the body voting is the United Nations Security Council, where five permanent members enjoy veto power.
A company’s new strategic plan gets adopted after the management team votes 5-4 against. Why? The board preferences the votes of the CEO, CFO, COO, and CMO over those from leaders at VP level.
A political candidate wins office after receiving millions of fewer votes than his opponent. Why? It’s a U.S. presidential election, decided not by the popular vote but by the electoral college.
Read MoreMany Democrats, especially in progressive circles, have been lamenting: “Why is Biden still meeting with Republicans on the infrastructure bill?” Every day those negotiations drag on is one fewer day for the Biden team to advance its agenda.
We hear those concerns loud and clear. But from many years of negotiation research, writing, and teaching government officials, diplomats, executives, graduate students, and others, we see Biden’s approach as demonstrating the deftness of a dealmaker with a lifetime of negotiation experience.
Read MoreOn March 26, 2021, Bob was interviewed on expert practices for crisis and hostage negotiation following an armed robbery and police chase in the Boston area. Crisis negotiators failed in their attempt to persuade the fugitive to abandon a police cruiser he had stolen. In the end, police shot and killed the fugitive. Bob talked about the qualities required for successful crisis negotiators and why law enforcement personnel need to be trained in these skills.
Read MoreIt’s something that nearly all of us dread. How do we engage in a difficult conversation and achieve a positive result? It’s all about understanding that a good outcome embraces two sides, not one.
Bob Bordone has spent his entire professional life teaching conflict resolution. The former Harvard Law Professor and Founder of the Harvard Negotiation and Mediation Clinical Programme, is an expert and consultant specialising in the art of successful negotiation and how to manage difficult conversations.
It’s something that doesn’t come naturally to many of us. When we’re feeling hurt or upset, it’s so much easier to lash out at the person we feel is causing our pain than to try and understand their point of view.
But in the following Q&A, Bob tells Medix why this rarely achieves what either side wants. Difficult conversations are about listening to understand rather than to blame, the acknowledgment of strong emotions and an appreciation that none of us have all of the answers.
Read MoreIn the media realm, abundant with potential conflict, opportunities for negotiation abound. It can occur in the context of a formal business relationship. Or conflict may catch you by surprise in the moment when a colleague mentions something that seems offensive, misguided, or just plain wrong to you. There are ways of addressing and becoming operational for both businesses, contractual, and strategic differences as well as day-to-day relational ones.
If you are committed to a better way of dealing with hard conversations, going forward, there are a few major concepts worth considering: the importance of both conflict resilience and of being conflict ready. I’d like to share a bit about both.
Read MoreI submitted this piece for publication on Wednesday, September 30, 2020 following the first Presidential Debate. With President Trump’s diagnosis of COVID-19 the following day and the unexpected and rapid turning of the news cycle, it no longer seemed publishable in any major news outlet. However, I decided to publish it here because I believe the underlying argument still has merit during this election season, and beyond.
Sadly, there are few topics in American life where there is near-consensus, but most Americans agree that Tuesday night’s Presidential debate was disgraceful. For good reason, many have focused on President Trump’s apparent refusal to stand against white supremacy when directly asked by moderator Chris Wallace.
But it was just one of countless moments that call into question how manifestly unfit President Trump is for leadership in any form, never mind the Presidency.
Read MoreWhat sets outstanding family law negotiators apart from the merely competent? Bob Bordone, founder of Harvard’s Negotiation and Mediation Clinical Program, recently spoke with Family Lawyer Magazine’s Diana Shepherd about crucial skills and mistakes, changing the tone, and handling difficult clients.
Read MoreHiring a neutral third party to resolve disputes is often more effective than going to court.
Bob Bordone taught at Harvard Law School for more than two decades. While there, he founded and directed the school's negotiation and mediation clinical program. Today, Bordone, who lives in Cambridge, Mass., does mediation, negotiation and conflict-coaching for individuals, businesses, and others, and is a senior fellow at Harvard Law School. Because commercial disputes will likely snowball as the pandemic response lurches forward, Bloomberg Businessweek spoke with Bordone about using mediation to reach agreements without damaging important business relationships. (The Society for Human Resource Management released research in June indicating 53 percent of small employers of more than 400 it surveyed were somewhat or very concerned about increased risk of lawsuits and liability while reopening amid Covid-19.) This interview has been edited and condensed.
Read MoreOn Friday, June 26, 2015 — just five years ago — in the landmark Oberkefell case, the Supreme Court declared that marriage equality was a constitutionally-protected right for LGBTQ Americans. In that 5 to 4 decision, Chief Justice John Roberts was in the dissent.
I was on a bus from Boston to New York City when the decision came down, traveling to spend New York Pride Weekend with friends. As I received the news, happy tears rolled down my face. And my phone went haywire with texts from friends across the country, ebullient with joy and celebration. As I whipped out my computer to read the poetic and sweeping opinion of Justice Kennedy, I remember needing to assure the person next to me, who was growing concerned by the tears and frenzy on my face and phone.
Read MorePete Buttigieg shouldn’t be my first choice for the Democratic nomination. According to the Washington Post’s “issues quiz” he should be my third. Pete nonetheless earned my vote, because policy positions are only part of my decision-making calculus. Throughout this nomination process, I’ve relied on three questions to guide me:
1. Who demonstrates the best judgement, and a willingness to listen and learn?
Even the most tuned-in citizen is unable to be fully informed on all the critical issues of the day. That means that in voting for a president, identifying the candidate in whose judgment I feel most secure is paramount.
Pete doesn't set out to be the smartest person in the room. More than other candidates, he listens.
Read MoreTom Steyer's intervention between the two progressive candidates at the last debate was awkward. Here's how we can do better at stopping verbal bloodbaths.
In the lead-up to the Democratic presidential debate Friday night, I found myself reflecting frequently on last month's Bernie Sanders/Elizabeth Warren post-debate exchange, in which each accused the other of having called them a liar on national TV. Or, more precisely, I found myself ruminating on fellow candidate Tom Steyer's role in that pivotal moment.
Read MoreWhen Pete Buttigieg announced his candidacy for the presidency in April of 2019, some wrote him off as too audacious, too inexperienced, too unknown to be a serious contender. Even after his surprising ascent from virtual unknown to top-tier candidate over the past 10 months, many wondered whether a 38-old man with a funny name and a husband (!) could prove his mettle on the national stage, especially against three seasoned veterans who have been household names for years.
Though it's a long haul from Iowa to the Democratic nomination, any doubts about Buttigieg's viability as a serious candidate were laid to rest when results from Iowa were finally announced. As it did for Barack Obama in 2008, Iowa has shown the nation that the future might well rest with someone with an unlikely personal background and a hopeful vision for all that America could be.
Read MoreThe closing question from CNN’s Anderson Cooper in Tuesday night’s debate came under fire from pundits and candidates alike almost immediately. Citing an event from the previous week where Ellen DeGeneres was seen laughing with former President George W. Bush at a football game, Cooper asked each of the 12 candidates to reflect on a friendship that surprised them and that affected their beliefs.
Critics called the query unimportant, trivial and a waste of precious debate time — especially because major topics like climate change, immigration, and China (to name a few) were left wholly unaddressed in the three-hour debate.
I disagree with the criticism.
Read MoreShouting matches, highlight reels, candidate zingers: Our presidential debates are becoming more like sports events with each passing election cycle, says Bob Bordone, a professor at Harvard Law School. It’s time for something else.
Read More
